March 31, 2013 on: General

A grandiose project to protect Mongolia’s capital against the elements.

Minister of extraordinary projects. Mr. Batbold, was quoted as saying that the new superdome project would change the life of the residents of Ulaanbaatar to such a degree that UB might soon be considered as one of the most pleasant cities in which to live in the world. It is a well recognised fact that Ulaanbaatar suffers from two principal challenges; The first challenge of importance is that for over 6 months of the year, the temperatures in the city are freezing and as such this negatively impacts the economy, makes people violent and does not promote tourism. The second major challenge for UB residents are the terrible levels of pollution now so common. This leads to shortened life expectancy and generally poor health for the population. 

The superdome, as explained in a recent government conference would consist of an extremely large glass dome that would cover the entire city centre of Ulaanbaatar. The dome would have large round openings throughout to allow the air to be recycled at all times, it would also have special road access through airlocks that can be opened and closed as required. 

Within 1 year of installation, new measures will be taken to prohibit gas powered cars within the dome, all vehicles will have to be electrically powered so as to initially reduce and eventually eradicate pollution within the dome. Gers and stoves would be banned from within the dome. 

On the East to West stretch, It would reach from the intersection where the Ramada hotel is located on Peace Avenue (sadly the Ramada hotel will be excluded from the dome but the Narantuul hotel will be part of it) up to the Kempinsky intersection (this hotel will also be excluded). On the north to south stretch, the super dome would stop just after the Peace Bridge on the south side and reach all the way up to the top of the Baigaa Toiru. Sukhbaatar Square would become the epicentre of the dome. There are plans to bring in considerable amounts of sand on the square so that a “beach like environment” could be recreated. 

The dome would present a number of great advantages to residents within it. First and foremost it would create a temperature and climate controlled environment year round, this would improve morale, the economy and the health-being of residents. The dome would allow for UB to become a “green” city in the strictest sense of the term. Roads would be reduced to their bear minimum with the majority of today’s roads transformed into “green pathways” which would promote cycling and walking. No pollution, green plants throughout, access to locally farmed fruits and vegetables and a sustainable environment would allow the residents to lead a healthy and care free life. 

Openings within the glass structure would allow fresh air to circulate but the heat of the sun in winter through the glass would bring the temperatures inside the dome to their summer equivalents while in summer, the openings would be opened fully to allow cooling of indoor temperatures. 

This project, would, within 5 years contribute positively on the economy as it would allow the economy of the city to function year round without hinderance from snow or cold weather as is currently the case. It would also allow the city to be self-sufficient to a much higher level than it is today as with the constant temperatures inside the dome, roof top small scale farming operations become possible. It is also expected that Ulaanbaatar would quickly become one of the most popular tourist destination not just for the region but for the world.

Questions about the feasibility of the structure were raised during the press conference but immediately dismissed as being un-patriotic. The minister added that we cannot expect journalists to understand such a great project. The Mongolian government has a proud history of following through with its promises on budget and on time, this project will follow along with that excellent track record. 

Minister Batbold further added that since the re-negotiations of the OT agreement were going so well, they were planning on re-negotiating every agreement that the state had with foreign investors and thus gain an additional 5 to 10 billion USD in 2013 alone. This would easily finance the construction of the dome and might even finance mini-domes around strategic locations such as Nukht valley, Zaisan valley and the Presidential palace.

Minister Batbold further denied categorically being influenced by the Simpsons movie in which a similar idea was presented, claiming that he had the idea long before the movie was produced.  

The new metro, which has recently been approved by parliament would connect the interior of the dome to those populations outside of it without compromising the integrity of the dome itself. 

The City’s chief engineer, Mr. Batulga, further added that: “while this project might be technically complicated, it is very well adapted to the current small size of our capital and would in time become the envy of other cities in the world. A technology that Mongolia could patent and sell to other foreign powers for great profits”. The exterior glass of the dome would be specially treated for UV protection as well as posses some “self-cleaning” capacity. Mr. Batulga further added: “Mongolians have always lived in a ger, this is the same concept - just on a much larger scale”. 

Mr. Bertot, chief of silly walks at M.A.D. Investment Solutions, a Real Estate Investment firm based in Ulaanbaatar, commented recently on the project by saying that: “ in terms of real estate, it is clear that the properties within the dome would gain from enormous capital growth initially while those outside of the dome would loose considerable value, but, with the constant temperatures within the dome, we should be able to have a year-round construction industry, and thus build faster in order to relocate people within the dome”. Initial estimates are that close to 500,000 people would be located within the dome at start but that this population would double within 3 years and triple within 5 years. It is hoped that within 10 years, the entire population of Mongolia would reside within the dome while only those on essential business outside of the city would leave it for a few months at a time. 

SOURCE OF THIS ARTICLE : Mongolia April's Fool

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